- Know this: that I support our powerful SUVs, our Bill of Rights and our faith in Jesus.
- When I’m elected, I’ll make sure pot smokers and suicide bombers can’t sabotage our delicious apple pies.
- Your supporters know that I believe in our fast food chains, our precious schools and our brave police force.
- The opponent is conspiring with Monsanto cronies, Chilean miners and Colombians.
- I will not stand for an America where al-Qaeda insurgents and pharmaceutical companies can take away our cherished national parks.
- My supporters know that I will protect our founding fathers’ dreams, our precious environment and our reality TV shows.
- I will not stand for an America where shifty Canadians and reckless bankers can take away our McMansions.